susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
