Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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