Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
