Someone shit on the floor
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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