you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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