Dual....:-)
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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