Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
