is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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