Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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