Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
