Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
