Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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