I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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