There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
