Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
