he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
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hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
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I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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