She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
