sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Randomize
