I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Holy sore nipples Batman
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
