Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
