we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
This is my gift to your gina
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
