So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
