well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
