and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
everyone is single if you try hard enough
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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