Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
