She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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