i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
