You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
