walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
