Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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