we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
