Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.