Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
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Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
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Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe