I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex