im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!