I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
