I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
