There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
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