so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
