i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
