pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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