I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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