My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
