Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
