ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
