Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
