put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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