Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
