HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I believe in your delicious
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
