If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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