I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
