Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
