I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
