the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
