I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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