wat bout pragnant strippers??
and you said cock pushups were impossible
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
