I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
