Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I wish life had little blips of pornography
either way he was missing a nipple.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
