yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
