Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
