Rock
Scissors
Fuck
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
