Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I currently don't understand fingers.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
