I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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