i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
