I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
