It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
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